Tending the Flock

1 Peter 5: 1-4
"So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ as well as a partaker in the glory that is to be revealed. Tend the flock of God that is your charge, not by constraint but willingly, not for shameful gain but eagerly, not as domineering over those in your charge but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd is manifested you will obtain the unfading crown of glory."

What beautiful words of Saint Peter.

It's been a while since I last blogged - all through December and January was filled with activities (Christmas choir practises, Post-PBK retreat, EYC2011....), and soon after January ends, Chinese New Year was at the door.

Our Good Shepherd Church's TPBP (Parish Youth Pastoral Team) had a recollection recently on 15 Feb 2011, where we (myself included) renewed our commitment to serve another term in the team, and we welcomed a few fellow youths who had express their willingness to take on the pastoral cross too.

I attended Daily Mass on Tuesday (22nd Feb) and heard those beautiful words of Saint Peter, and I thought "what a great reproach on how a 'pelayan' on any ministry in a church should carry on his/her duties".

Many of us, in our pastoral journey, always tend to forget the real essence of ministering our group. I'm not being judgmental here, but more than often I see church leaders serve as a 'leader' - expecting the church communities to listen to their 'commands', unwilling to admit mistakes, easily disheartened by criticisms, shut off their ears on others, hungering for perfection in any activities they organised, seeking to be looked up upon to, taking pastoring as a mere 'job' instead of a calling.... It always anger me when witnessing those acts, and I can even be angry with myself when realising that I, too, fall into those lists sometimes.

Those words of Saint Peter say it all.

"tend the flock of God that is your charge, NOT BY CONSTRAINT BUT WILLINGLY, NOT FOR SHAMEFUL GAIN BUT EAGERLY, NOT AS DOMINEERING over those in your charge but BEING EXAMPLES TO THE FLOCK. Do we feel forced to serve? Do we want to be heard more than to listen? Do we feel tired over our ministry? Do we snap back, instead of self-reflecting, when reprimanded? Do we pursue self-satisfaction rather than the good of our charge?

I leave those questions for us all for pondering. I have many falls before throughout my journey as a servant in the church, but I am ever so thankful to God that He always find me back when I have wandered off from His way. It is far from easy to 'stay good' when carrying the cross of pastoral deeds - the nearer you come for God, the greater the temptations 'the other guy' bring on you to make you stray.

But, above all, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD. It is through fervent prayers that keep us stay on track. Apart from praying for our strength to answer His call, let's also pray for every one in the pastoral team that we journey together with.

"Pastoral is a Calling"

May we find peace and contentment in our pastoral works. GOD BLESS.

Time flashes.... It's November!

It seems like only yesterday that I welcomed Year 2010.

Time flashes - not just passes, incredibly fast. It is November 2010! I concluded my October by getting my hair cut. I planned to keep it long, pass shoulder length at least, but could not stand the 'heaviness' anymore. So, there my hair went, down to the floor of the hair saloon.

My first week of this month went on 'packed'. So much had been going on that I almost lost sense that the first half of this month are just few days left.

First, it was All Saints' Day on 1st November. I attended evening Mass at Good Shepherd Church, Menggatal and the celebrant of the Mass was Rev Fr Michael Modoit. His homily that evening was beautiful, reminding us to live 'good and kind hearted', that one day we, too can be saint by living dutifully obedient to the Father's will while living in this life. I was especially awed by Fr Michael's recount on the exhume of the late Bishop Simon Fung's body (to be relocated to Sacred Heart Cathedral) - a year after he was buried, the body (seen through the glass coffin) was still intact and looked almost as perfect as the time of his funeral. Isn't that wonderful? :)

Then, the next was All Souls' Day. I went to work that morning healthy and sound, but soon after clock in, the stomach uneasiness started. I thought it was just 'gas', maybe I'd be alright if I had some biscuits. That didn't go well. By noon, I was gastric-stricken. I gobbled a relieving pill - no effect. So I took the rest of the day off and went home, thinking of dropping by at the clinic to consult a doctor and to get my MC. Alas! No empty parking spot at the clinic compound! So I headed back home, again, thinking of coming back later to the clinic after I take some rest. Wrong thought no 2! The pain got worse (my body arched to the pain and driving to the clinic by myself was out of the question) and I was feverish. I had no choice, but to send out 'SOS' to my friends, asking to take me to the clinic. Thank God a good friend was available. He came and fetched me to Permai Polyclinic, where I was treated and given injection (the doctor said I had too much acid and gas). I felt better not long after (thanks to Boyo), but somewhat exhausted, so I did not make it to the All Souls Mass that evening.

Third day of the month - I was still feeling under the weather, so it was another 'MC' day. I attended daily Mass at St Simon, Likas that evening with Jane.

Thursday, November 4th - the day was ordinary, but my friends and I were all very excited for our trip to Kota Marudu and Kota Belud the next day. We facebooked and chatted about that the whole day! Evening, our church (GSCM) choir practise for Christmas Masses, started. Got back home that night, I packed the things that needed to be brought for the trip, FB-ed for a while, and retired to bed. Sleep was not well though, woke up few times all the way to morning (must be because of the excitement hahaha).

5th November was the day we had been looking forward to! It was Deepavali holiday, and 5 of us departed from Tuaran town at 8am. The destination - St Theresa Hostel, Kota Marudu. Some other friends who had plan to join us could not make it, as they have other commitment to attend to. Reaching there at 10am, we were overwhelmed by the children, welcoming our arrival. The kids staying at the hostel were mostly those from poor families, coming from remote villages around Kota Marudu and Pitas town. There were 45 of them (as at time of visit), the youngest being 5 years old and the eldest, 20. Two of their caretakers, Sr Marysia and Sr Martina were there as well, greeting us when we arrived. We spent about two hours with them - self introductions, sing alongs, took pictures, chit chat.... It was a truly memontous visit for me, and a lasting memory too. We will definitely come and visit again!

Leaving the hostel, we dropped by Kota Marudu Town for lunch, thereafter continued our trip to another planned vacation - Usukan Cove Lodge! Reached there almost 3pm, checked in, get changed... It wasn't long before we started strolling the beach, and soaked ourselves in the water. We took pleasure and had fun in the water, while waiting for the others to get there.

The next day (6th) we had the photoshooting session. We dressed all in white and were facial made up by Lesley, who also did the phototaking. We departed for home around 3pm, and stopped off at Tuaran Town for late lunch. Everybody was exhausted, contentedly and delighted though. I got home before 6pm, and fell asleep soon after. When I woke up, it was already Sunday morning - more than 13 hours of sleep!

I skipped the morning Mass and went to St Simon at evening, the Mass celebrant being Rev Fr Wilfred Atin. I remember one part of his homily, he said 'it doesn't matter if we believe in the concept of 1 Malaysia or not, or what political parties we support - we are all ONE in the body of CHRIST". Beautiful statement. :)

So....... there went my 1st week of November 2010. 'Packed', but embossed quite a number of memories for me. I thank Father God for His graces, that I get to enjoy that week, and for His gift of wonderful friendships that I have.

Now, I'm looking forward for yet another weeks ahead (already have some plans set). Christmas comes soon, and the heat of carols and practices would soon add in to the mood.

Here's wishing you a blessed and joyful year end!

GOD BLESS. :)

The Work Dilemma

Eph 6:5-9
5 Slaves, be obedient to those who are, according to human reckoning, your masters, with deep respect and sincere loyalty, as you are obedient to Christ: 6 not only when you are under their eye, as if you had only to please human beings, but as slaves of Christ who wholeheartedly do the will of God. 7 Work willingly for the sake of the Lord and not for the sake of human beings. 8 Never forget that everyone, whether a slave or a free man, will be rewarded by the Lord for whatever work he has done well. 9 And those of you who are employers, treat your slaves in the same spirit; do without threats, and never forget that they and you have the same Master in heaven and there is no favouritism with him.

Another answered prayer for me today.

Lately, I have to cope with some 'work dilemmas' in the office, where I was caught in a tight spot, not knowing how to react to the news I received. Making thing worse, were all the rumours circulating around, and I was left perplexed - didn't really understand what would happen next. It wasn't entirely a 'bad news', it's just that, I think I'm not ready for the wind of change.... yet, when the last I had was less than two months earlier.

On the surface, I'm playing Miss Cool, trying my best to disguise my uneasiness. When I first told about the 'news' last week, I got home headached (it lasted the whole night). This 'affair' went on for about two weeks, and today, the whole thing almost take its toll on me. I was wishing that I'd never have to deal with it. Subconsciously, I think I asked God to help me.

GOD HEARD ME. When I attended daily mass this evening, this passage hit me right - "Work willingly for the sake of the Lord and not for the sake of human beings". I thought, oh God, what have I done? I was so worried because I was doing it for myself, for my own satisfaction, and not for.... God.

Those Words of St Paul came as an answer for me, and I was at once relieved. The despair I felt earlier, vanished. I felt joy inside, now realising what He wants me to do - Whatever deeds we are doing, we MUST do it for the love of God. God alone is the Master, and we must be willing in doing all our works.

Facing yet another working day tomorow, I made my pledge - I shall try to work wholeheartedly, for the sake of serving Christ. One may ask, what relates your work with serving Christ? Well, to that, I can only answer this - God's way is not our way. Somehow He has a plan for us, and we as His creation, would never ever outwise Him to understand His magnificent plan.

To me, maybe, just maybe, that it is to work out our faithfulness to God, by learning to obey our bosses. :)

Tomorrow, coming to work, I think (and quite sure actually), that I'm going to be all smile again. Things may not work the way I hoped for, but in any case, I have a Father who leads my way. That, I could be rest assured. :)

Happy working everyone, and GOD BLESS. :)

Circle of Friends (vid clip)

This time, just sharing this clip I made.... enjoy! :)

Specially dedicating this to all the wonderful friends I have around...

Black Beauty

ALL COMMERCIALS SUGGESTING FAIRER-SKINNED PEOPLE ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL, SHOULD BE BANNED

That's exactly my sentiment right now.

This evening as I was having my dinner (sitting comfortably on the couch, in front of the TV), I saw this commercial ad about a beauty product, promising fairer skin when used. The ad was about a woman who lacked self confidence because of her dark skin, and regained it after using the 'fair lotion' on herself.

Seeing that ad, I grew furious.

Impulsively, I felt discrimination. Why should fairer people feel more confident? Why would one be ashamed of his/her dark complexion? Do skin colours matter at all? Most of all, what difference do these ads are, with racism? I couldn't help asking myself those and many other questions about this 'fair business'.

Many, mostly women, fall easy victims to this preying commercials. The ads often imply that 'whiter' people have bigger chance of succeeding in their careers, studies etc. Most of the time, they are portrayed by someone who is timid and withdrawn charactered. That is, of course, until they start using the so-called beauty product.

With all due respect to people who are dark-skinned naturally, they DO look beautiful, without even need to 'bleach' their skin. When I was younger, I used to think that way too, that I must make my complexion fairer. Thank God I was awaken before late.

Now, for me SKIN COLOURS DO NOT MATTER AT ALL. Every person has his/her own uniqueness, given by God. I'm not shouting out that we shouldn't make ourselves look more beautiful, at all. But it sadden me, when seeing ads like those, that we are taught in such a way, to mould ourselves into what this world wants to see, and not accepting who we really are.

To all of you out there, especially girls and women - YOU LOOK STUNNING regardless of how you look like and what skin colour you have. The inner beauty is what we should be taking care of. Ask yourself, why do you care so much when other people judge about your look/skin colour? Do others' ideas of 'beauty' worth so much for your dignity?

Let's stop this lie, together. We could start out by telling ourselves 'I AM BEAUTIFUL', accepting what God has given us. After all, nothing on us belongs to ourselves. From Him all things come, and to Him all things shall return. We are His creations, and to God, every single part of us is beautiful.

Here's praying and wishing that all of us feel graciously thankful for His wonderful gift of life.

GOD BLESS.

Sleepless..

The clock on my laptop is showing '2:17AM' at the time of typing, but my eyes and mind are showing no signs of 'we-want-to-get-in-bed-now!'

Not knowing what to blog about ('cause I am lacking of energy for a pondering at this hour), I'm just going to share this rhyme with you (again), which I composed and posted on my FB status some time ago...

Monkeys see, monkeys do
Creatures of glee, they delight you
Annoying they can be, yet their natures are true
High on a tree, and on the ground too
Amusing themselves freely, like no one else can do

Monkeys see, monkeys do
Whatever they may be, CUTE they are as you! ;)


My 'geng karas' and I have a 'liking' for monkeys. Never understanding why, we just love to call each other 'mungit'. In no way, however, we would get annoyed with that. It's just a friendly gesture among us, calling names with these next-to-human creatures.

I guess one can hardly denies the cuteness of monkeys (whichever species they are). These beasts never fail to make us laugh - they are natural entertainers, and we love them as much as we hate them (see... I know you'd agree with me there hahaha).

Am Hoping that you like them too! ;)

Good night (or good morning :P) & GOD BLESS.

Old Folks Tale

Approximately an hour to noon today (Oct 14 2010), one of my best friends texted me on cell - it was a saddening news, her grandmother had pass away.

I took a pause from my office work, offering a brief moment of silence and prayer for Jane's grandmother. I prayed for her soul, as I texted back 'she returned to the Lord, & now in His good Hands'.

I lost my Ah Kung (paternal grandpa) when I was 8, Ah Po (paternal grandma) in 1999, and Bapak (maternal grandpa) May last year. The only immediate grandparent I have now is Mama, mum's mother. And when she fell really ill earlier this year, I was so afraid of...... losing her.

Praise the Lord, Mama recovered. Even though Mama's health deteriorated, comparing to months earlier, I'm just so glad and thankful to God for her recovery. It feels like a given chance, to appreciate more of the person who brought my mother to this world.

Sometimes grandparents are taken for granted. Most of them live a quiet life, while their children/grandchildren continue their hectic lives. We seldom visit them (when they live apart from us) because they do not demand much of our presence, even when they miss us to the bone. They hardly ever verbalise their feelings, only to our comprehensions, the look on their faces and the speaking in their eyes.

A melancholic feeling runs through my veins now, as I think about Mama. She has short memory loss sometimes, not remembering names and what she does or says just minutes earlier. That is explicable, as she is in her 70's. But catching a sight on that, it could still make me teary-eyed. She was chatty before, but now she tires easily, and always retire to bed soon after nighfall.

I pray that God bless Mama everyday, that she feels loved by all of us, her family. There are no words great enough to tell her how much we love her, only through the touch of God's grace.

I pray, too, that everyone cherishes their grandparents. And if yours are no longer around, do pray for their souls, that they may rest in peace eternally.

God Bless.